About worms, sheep and people: the whole truth about relationships
Relationships created at the level of the worm, is that, being in a pair, a person nevertheless lives alone. He does not know anything about his partner, since he is not in emotional contact with him. Partner for him is just a way to fulfill the needs of this level - food, reproduction and self-preservation. Since at this level there is no emotional contact, openness and agreement between people, relationships are rife with conflicts arising from the difference in interests of the couple.
By the way, I want to keep you from negative assessment of the word “worm”. Most people who form couples at this level are “extremely happy.” There is nothing bad in it, because at this level there is a large part of the population of the planet and that it is the base
The basic attributes of this level are the presence of children, regular sex, a bank account, a clogged refrigerator, and work that brings money.
Pick-up, technology of conquest and retention of a partner, friendly advice on "correct behavior" in a relationship - all this is a manipulation technique for extracting one-sided gains at the level of the worm. By the way, any manipulation is not only a deception of another person, but above all self-deception. The instinct of reproduction creates attraction, but it has different gender sounds - a man needs relationships as a way to realize his sexuality. Women's expectations, as a rule, are wider: besides the realization of sexual desire for her, this is the way to get offspring and care for her. By the way, I believe that for this reason, a woman in a relationship is higher than a man. Everything is logical: higher requests - higher responsibility. In addition, God gave her a higher emotionality and sensitivity. Therefore, it has a big responsibility in choosing a partner. But most of the ladies simply stop the men with holes in their solvency, and then mourn the result.
Let's go to the next level. He is quite a big achievement. Sheep level is the level of agreements and sociality, therefore couples who are at this level make up the backbone, the best part of society.
The level of a sheep contains all the attributes of the previous level, with the only difference being that emotional interaction arises on it. The pair is characterized by joint activities and a higher level of needs and desires. Attributes that are inherent in the previous level, here acquire a completely different sound.
Housing construction is carried out jointly and in concert, one partner helps the other in promotion, children are brought up together, communication with friends and recreation also turn into a joint project. The pair begins to act as a single mechanism.
At this level, people become partners, which means that their interests become mutual and systematic in their actions begins to manifest itself. They can communicate and create reciprocal contracts, which, on the one hand, are a compromise and, in fact, restrict each of the partners, but on the other - hold the union together.
The second key point, showing the difference with the first level, is that at the level of the worm people lie to each other, because they are forced to wear masks, and at the level of the sheep, the masks are either completely discarded or rejected in relation to the most important system moments.Simply put, at this level, people are more honest with each other.
And at the level of the worm, and at the level of the sheep, people can be quite happy with life. The couple usually comes to the psychologist in a crisis related to the transition from the level of the worm to the level of a sheep, or the one that has “rolled” to the previous one. This trend can also be called the evolution of relationships, and it coincides with the evolution of the personality and consciousness.
It often happens that people at different levels try to create relationships nonetheless. This creates a constant tension, since the integrity of such a relationship means that someone must constantly lower its bar.
In practice, most people confronted with a similar identity crisis spend their entire lives in it and die without going to the next. Before they die, they complain that "this bastard spoiled my whole life." But as they say, it's too late to twitch.
The main thing that distinguishes the first two levels of relationships described by me is that people don’t like each other. They experience feelings, but not love. They often talk about love, but this is a lie and a wraith. This is the main mask that most of those on the first two levels cannot discard.The most honest of them say that love does not exist. And this is true, because they realize that love is impossible where they are now. In these relationships, people love their comfort and benefit, which should not be disturbed. Therefore, clinging and rejection rule here.
But every person in his heart realizes that there is a level much higher than what he sees everywhere. This knowledge is akin to a deep yearning for the time when he was happy. I would even call it a call. That is why creative people constantly devote their works to love and sing it. They are closer than others to the realization of a lost paradise. It is like longing for what is, but at the present moment is unattainable, or it was once, and the memory of this lives in a person with slight glimpses of awareness.
Love in the honest sense of this word is possible only at the level of a person. She does not know contracts, because she can only give and she does not need anything in return. The level of a worm is the level of the body, the level of a sheep is emotions and speech, the level of a person is consciousness. Relationships at the worm level are based on personal gain, relationships at the sheep level are based on an understanding of mutual benefits, and relationships at the human level are based on the level of self-love.At the level of the worm a man satisfies himself, at the level of a sheep he satisfies himself and cares about a partner, at the level of a person he loves himself and through this love can love another.
In the relationship of the worm, people act out of a feeling of satiation, in sheep relations - out of a sense of duty, in a relationship at the human level - out of gratitude for accepting their love. There is no expectation in love, which means there is no disappointment. Because when relationships are destroyed at the level of a person, people experience delight and gratitude for past moments of happiness and can let go of the beloved.
The human level is rooted in detachment and lack of expectation. And besides, this is a sense of your own boundaries and the boundaries of the one you love. A couple at the level of a person can contain all the attributes of the previous levels, or may not contain them, because the people in that pair play any role and wear any masks that feed their love, but with the only difference that all their masks are conscious. Having met such a couple (if you are very lucky, since this is a rare phenomenon), you may not understand who these people are to each other. Such a couple does not need to talk to communicate,and not even to be together to be together. These are people without conditionality, and therefore, without guilt, offense, clinging and rejection.
And having finished reading this material, you will most likely think: there now, Pechkin, s * ka, broke me off again! Would be better to write something positive. And I, of course, will do it, because I love my reader. But if I do, I'll tell the truth.
The truth is that a lot of people are below the level of the worm, because they want, but can not afford to be in a stable relationship even at this level. Their tendency to destruction is so great, their Thanatos is so powerful that even the level of a worm is an excessively high achievement for them.
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