How to forgive betrayal of her husband and loved one?
Whatever the sunny and wonderful relationship, there can always come a moment when something starts to “go wrong.” This may be a long silence, in which you notice moments that were not there before, but eventually you learn that your man is cheating on you.
Or maybe it will be a cloudless sky, in which, like a bolt from the blue, a recognition of your man appears that he has changed you. There are a thousand questions and fears in my head. How to forgive cheating on your husband? Who is she? What's next? How will I live with this? Is it really worth forgiving?
Yes, it is possible that the first outbreak will not even be the same, and anger will overwhelm you, there will be a desire to immediately run and take revenge on your husband in the same direction.
Or maybe you will have a desire to roll a terrible scandal, which will end with an active collection of suitcases and children, if any, and loud clapping of doors in the end. All this is normal, because your wounded self-esteem will be very long and sick.And only after the release of emotions, many questions will flow, to which you, unfortunately, do not know the answer.
But all the same it is necessary to try to cope with the storm of their emotions and take more rational and logically considered actions. Try to honestly answer a few questions and only, pushing away from the answers to them, build your further behavior.
- Do you want your family to go through this obstacle, after which you can start a new and happy life?
- Are you ready to forgive this insult? The understanding of “forgive” includes not only saying “forgiving”, but also promising yourself that you will not remember, think, and also remind yourself and your husband about this mistake, naturally, after a certain time.
- Will your husband be able to go through this difficult period in your life with you, doing the right thing, somewhere, now, already infringing on your own interests?
If at least one of the questions causes you to doubt, you are not sure how you can forgive the betrayal of your loved one, but most importantly, are not able to fight with yourself, then we can say right away that the wrong step can be a step towards reconciliation on your part. .
It is possible that you will not be able to defeat this "disease", and the whole story will have to end with a break. But first you can fight.
First steps to a new life
Try to mentally characterize your spouse, think about what could push him to change. You can talk to him about it, because if your husband wants to save his family and deeply repents of his deed, he should help you to restore your own strength.
The reason for treason is important because it can help you cope with the fact itself, since there must be an excuse for any act.
Until now, world psychologists and specialists in this field differ greatly in their opinions, why does a man change? Of course, no one can give a clear answer to such a broad question, but there are still the most common and frequent problems that arise in such events.
Four reasons for treason
- Tired of the routine, lost the sharpness and novelty of the relationship.
- Conservatism of a woman who, especially with age, refuses to diversify sex life.
- A man is a hunter. And no matter how satisfied he was with his woman,he must reinforce the feeling of "winner" on the side.
- Alcohol, which is usually reinforced on the eve of a quarrel in the family, which leads to the desire to forget.
What to do next?
“Will I forgive me a betrayal?” - you ask when you find your reason. Probably the easiest fact when a man changed by stupidity, that is, with regards to the fourth reason.
It is even simpler if romance and strong love reigned in such family relationships, it seems and it seems that in such relationships there can be no betrayal, but no, it was just some kind of quarrel that could push a person to treason. Nobody says that he needs to be forgiven immediately, your wound will still hurt for quite a long time. But if your husband repents, and also sincerely does not understand why he did it, then the chances for your overall "recovery" are great.
Be sure to talk to each other. For a while, it may even be better if you leave. Let it be a trip to the parents, or go on a trip or to a resort, you should get sick this separately, let your husband miss you.
But be sure to leave him a reminder of yourself, because this time he must spend in meditation and maybe even in the reassessment of values.
Let go of the past and see the new
Of course, betrayal can be forgiven, not only in the case of "stupidity", but in any others, just for this, additional efforts may be needed.
If you have already talked and decided that you will try to keep the relationship, then you have to draw conclusions for yourself that let go of your grievances and forget that you are so tormented.
It is necessary to stop obsessing and scrolling in my head thoughts: why did this happen, what is it and how am I supposed to live now? So before the neurosis is close, and maybe even to more serious diseases, why do you need it? You must be healthy and confident.
It is clear that no one asks you to behave as it was before treason. You have the right to show that you are ill, your husband should feel guilty, it is she who will punish.
But if you have forgiven, you are not entitled to poke his nose at every successful event and remind your resentments. This unworthy self-respecting and strong woman.
And you, by the way, have to prove to yourself and others that you are a self-confident and self-sufficient woman. It is confident ladies, much easier to cope with the fact of treason than the complexed "gray mice".
For this, if you do not work and do not have special hobbies, do something that you like. This could be a sport, a club for handicrafts, a riding club or go in for art, or maybe even start writing.
It is during such difficult times for your psychological health that excellent works can turn out. Who knows what your innocent passion can pour out and what heights you can achieve in this field.
All good things come to an end
It can also happen that all the tips and recommendations are not enough to drown out your pain. Is it worth forgiving treason when it happens not for the first time? Or when your husband does not feel particularly guilty.
Women are different, there are those who can not go on with such a stone in the shower. Maybe this is right, because all ages are submissive to love, so a woman, regardless of her age, can fall in love more than once and build a new family.
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