How to get rid of self-pity?
Never thought that self-pity is an extremely negative feeling, full of destructive consequences? Some psychologists altogether call it a disease, a psychological disorder, with which one must necessarily fight.
No, of course, if you suddenly felt unhappy, your mood deteriorated, and even tears appeared, then it is quite possible that you should give vent to your feelings and even stay in this state for a bit.
But this reservation is acceptable only to rare, one might even say, exceptional moments: usually within a few hours or, at most, the next day, an unhappy person changes his mood in a positive way and feels ready for new challenges.
But what if the self-pity is a kind of lifestyle? Having thought about it well, you will surely find one or even several such acquaintances in your surroundings - they are never satisfied with their lives, always complaining about the many problems and difficulties that they think they cannot influence.
They are always waiting for some kind of support from the outside, they want to feel someone’s support and see sympathy, however, when an outsider tries to give advice and propose solutions to the problem, the unfortunate “victim” does not accept them or does not hear at all. What for? It's so good when you feel sorry for you!
Perhaps, having thought it over, you yourself will feel that lately you have been complaining too much about fate (husband, children, work, etc.), while feeling constant depression and melancholy. How to stop feeling sorry for yourself? This question is extremely important, because pity for one’s own persona, who has become a way of thinking and living, is really harmful!
It destroys the life of the person himself and those around him, who would like to help, but they cannot. Why all? Because such a person can only help himself!
Self-pity is the first step to a serious depression, which not only can ruin the quality of your personal life, but is also great for losing your health!
It turns out that such conditions greatly weaken the immune system, adversely affect the nervous and digestive systems?
How to be?
First, you need to understand and determine the reason that pushes you to such suffering. Not glued at work? The chief is the beast? Husband does not understand you at all, and the children are beaten by hand? Excess weight scares a terrible picture in the mirror?
If you really determined that sphere of your life that you are not very happy with and this does not give you peace of mind, then just start acting! Take care of the decision, not shelving them, otherwise the suffering and pity will just engulf you in the depths of their dullness.
Secondly, learn to take responsibility for yourself. Constantly regretting oneself and complaining about their difficulties to others is, to some extent, the path of a weak person who constantly tries to find the guilty, to get away from problems and shift their decision to someone else's shoulders.
Every time such a desire arises, think, is it worth it? Are you ready to entrust the management of your life to another person? Remember that you always have a choice and only you can decide how to deal with the difficulty that has arisen. Don't like relationships?
Tear them apart, find another person, believe me, everything is real! Not satisfied with the work? There are so many opportunities in the world,The time has come to take the risk, not to wash the boss's head for the hundredth time, and to complain about the difficulties of his character to her friends
What if this is not enough? Take some time and just sit in silence, take a piece of paper and think about your own list of advantages and advantages. Even if you can not boast of a new car, an ideal figure or a huge wardrobe, but there are many other reasons for which you can be proud and love your life.
This list does not necessarily have to get material goods, it can be your talents, knowledge, victories, abilities, purchases and joys, believe me, you will find exactly what to write here and, most likely, the list will turn out to be quite impressive.
Now think about it, a person who possesses all these qualities can consider himself weak and pathetic? It turns out that all your “complaints” are only a mask, a temporary difficulty that needs to be strictly eradicated from your consciousness.
Appreciate yourself and your life!
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